Balance and quiet insides

I saw a quote yesterday that said, “Don’t let being perfect get in the way of being good.” It’s so true.

But what about those times I don’t feel like being perfect or good or even mediocre? I feel like forgoing exercise because I’m exhausted. I feel like eating as much as I choose without pausing to count any of the calories I’m inhaling. I would be astonished if I knew…if I allowed myself to stop and think it through.

I wanted to be done with this. I wanted to stay perfect for 100 days. Then I allowed in the insidious feeling of the entire world on my shoulders. That makes it all fall apart. Unfortunately, whatever we accept as our worry becomes ours. Whatever worry we choose to focus on makes our minds and bodies feel as though they’re going through that very experience.

I don’t even know where it came from. I think it’s just a matter of slipping into old behaviors…becoming complacent and allowing perfectionism in uninvited. Taken in all at once, the world can be heavy and noisy – we have to protect ourselves from it. Take it in small doses or it’s all too much.

So today, I’m practicing laying it down. I don’t need to carry most things. Most things are not even mine to carry. I can be better about saying the Serenity Prayer instead of worrying. I can be better about delegating chores and other household duties. It doesn’t all have to fall on me.

For instance, I’ve been worried about finding time to do Spring Cleaning even before it was time to do it. How would I fit that into an already tight schedule? I also have to do touch-up painting, clean out and organize the storage room, clean cupboards, and I have at least one new garden area planned. How…and when will this all get done?

So, I’ve decided to hire someone to do my Spring Cleaning. She comes Thursday to give me an estimate. Provided she doesn’t run screaming from the house, I should have a lovely, clean home in a week or so. Then I can make time for the rest. I already feel like some of the weight has been lifted.

I’ve also got people coming to repair the gates of our fence after they sustained some damage in a high wind last Fall, someone coming to replace a window well, and someone coming to steam clean my carpet and tile. I can’t wait until it’s all done!

While those are just the more superficial worries, it’s nice to have them tamed. Are you good at asking for help? Give it a try with something small and see if you can’t feel your shoulders lighten a bit. See if the world doesn’t seem quite so heavy or noisy anymore. Then try it with some bigger issues. Like anything, it takes practice and perseverance but it’s definitely a skill worth learning. You won’t find the necessary balance of life without it.

What my noisy insides feel like sometimes….

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